Hello xangians! Well I'm trying something different tonight' I'm blogging on my new phone that my gf just gave me. It's a nokia E71. The irony is that I'm on this tiny keyboard when my pc is 4 ft away.

Well it's update time and as always I know it's been a while. But that's a good thing. Life is good, I'm completely in love with a woman who is so wonderful. I didn't think someone like her could exist. we've both have been doing some heavy traveling to see each other as often as our schedule or wallet could allow, hell even times when Utsazn wouldn't. It'll be alright though I feel like we were destined for one another. Long distance its just hard. It definitely has it's strain on the relationship but I think/hope its the biggest obstacle that we have to face. I think every relationship has to have something like that. That's how you know it's right and that you 2 can persevere.


Even though things are relatively going well between us no relationship is without it's small hang ups or issues. I guess it just comes with trying to feel the other person out and love them more.

what makes it the most difficult is to completely trust someone, even if you so truly love them. It's hard for her to completely trust me, while I understand it makes things difficult. the most frustrating thing is that I can't do anything about it. Only thing I can think to do is just atixk it out and with time the trust grows.

Ok well xanga my thumbs are cramping. Take care

It seems like there are some night that are meant for thinking, some are meant for writing, and some that are meant to be wasted away with the ones you love.

To my chagrin, this night is used for working. The DSL at my apt has been out since Thursday or Wednesday, it's been so long already I can't remember. So here I am in my office, working; or was working as it were. It's just been a while since I've been able to scratch my internet junkie like fix. I guess I'll go home at some point in tonight but in about 10 hours I'll have to here once again. Also there is something about being here, at night with all the lights off except my small flourescent desk light and my monitor that makes this scene comfortable. Could be that I know this chair better than I know my own chair in my apt, that I know this desk and this keyboard from all the hours leaning and hammering away as the daylight hours pass.

As the hours pass. As the days pass. The only thing I look forward to now it the next date circled on my calendar. My life as it stand has become an endless countdown. When will I see her? When will I touch her? Smell? Taste her lips? It's been a seeminly unbearable amount of time but yet I have withstood and come days, hours, minutes, and seconds closer to my destination.

And when my hour glass is empty, my world changes. The grains of sand can no longer fall and there is only the envitable that follows but it's at this moment where I can truly enjoy myself. In between the counting of the days and the falling of the grains. This time is spent with my love. What a great love it is. A love so deep it feels like the ocean, as you get swept away and fall deeper and deeper you can only realize a few things. That this love, the ocean is so vast and so deep there is no possible end and that to reach the ocean, sand is but only a small obstacle.

Sorry Xanga I've neglected you once again. I've been meaning to write and I've been wanting to write but I lose the momentum once I log on.

So big news is that I just recently went to Philadelphia, PA.

Good timing, the Phillies just won so I got to see the parade. It was pretty nuts.

I went to visit an old friend. Back when the internet was new and AOL was THE way to meet people and chat.
So we've been friends for about 10 years. It hasn't been anything but cordial for the last 8 years or so. You get older and sometimes all you can do is make sure that person is still alive and doing well for themselves.

Through a series of unfortunate/fortunate events. I made my way to Philly, the only thing I wanted to get from the whole thing was just a short vacation. I really needed to get out of this red state. I wasn't expecting to have have anything more than a friend waiting for me at the end of the terminal.

Turns out that as the weekend went on and we learned more about each other, I started to get really into her. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Since I was leaving so soon, I had to make the move quickly.

Pleasantly surprised that my emotions were reciprocated. The rest of the weekend was something I'll never forget.

Since I've been back, I realized I haven't met anyone like her and haven't missed anyone so much in quite a long time. I've quite fallen for her. I believe it's mutual.

So the obstacle is the distance. Everyday I'm convincing myself more and more than I need to move to Philly.

What to do...

Anyways so 3 top reasons why I'm enthralled with this woman.

1. She's smarter than me. I only have a handful of people that I willingly admit is smarter than I am. To me there's 3 kinds of intelligence: Booksmarts, Street-smarts, and Common sense.

• Booksmarts I think is easy. I'm too lazy to be overtly booksmart, but don't think that i'm uneducated. I still know a great deal. I expect most girls at the very least to beat me in this category
• Street-smarts is just how well you can handle yourself, well in the streets. Do you know what kicks are? Can you defend yourself in an argument with strangers? I don't think enough girls have this quality, It's not that important to me if they don't so it's just all bonus points.
• Common sense is what I usually find lacking. I have yet to find a girl who can be both booksmart and have a great deal of common sense. Most people jump to illogical conclusions or don't think things or situations out clearly and thoroughly. It's a wonderful thing when girls have this but I just don't come across it nearly enough in my life.

She has all three. As a pharmacist she's definitely got me beat in booksmarts. I couldn't tell you enough how hot is is for a woman to defend herself and she handles herself beautifully. I haven't quite decided if she's got me beat on the common sense front but it's definitely a close race, huge turn on.

2. She'll be a wonderful mother. I'm old. At 25 and wanting to start a family in about 5 years this is a huge deal. She takes care of all the kids in her family (cousins) and she does a great job even for being as busy as she is with her career. It makes my heart beat incredibly hard to hear teach her 4yr old cousin how to draw shapes.

3. If all I had were the previous 2 reasons than I'd still be pretty ecstactic to have found that in person. But she has one more great quality that is just absolute icing on the cake. We're both physically in sync. The attraction and passion is all there and it's got great lasting potential. I've gotten bored with girls before but with her it's a race to keep up.

I'm rarely behind so it's a wonderful feeling to be overwhelmed and feel like I need to try harder to keep up. It makes me want to be a better person and trust me I'm trying!

It's a long post, sorry. But I love you xangians, you're the very best!